Sparkling Fudge

by The Fudgers

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about

Big thanks to our family for supporting us, and to Jackson Meade for designing our album cover!

credits

released July 1, 2016

Connor - Vocals, guitar, producer
Hunter - Drums, vocals

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The Fudgers

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Track Name: Don't Eat Moldy Cheese
If you see some cheese on the ground
Don’t eat the cheese, ‘cause that’s really gross
And if the cheese is blue
Don’t make physical contact with the cheese

Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
If it looks like a bee (That’s gross!)
That cheese is bad for you man (I know!)
Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
(x2)

And if you eat moldy cheese
Then you need to take a mint
And if you have a moldy sneeze
Stay away from seasonings

Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
If it looks like a bee (That’s gross!)
That cheese is bad for you man (I know!)
Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
(x2)

No moldy cheese for me
No, no, no, no moldy cheese for me
No, no, no, no moldy cheese for me
No, no, no, no moldy cheese for ME

Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
If it looks like a bee (That’s gross!)
That cheese is bad for you man (I know!)
Don’t eat moldy cheese (No! No!)
(x2)
Track Name: Tofu
So one day I was watching The Hobbit
And the trolls were about to eat the horses
And I'm like, like "What the heck?"
And I'm like, like "What the heck?"
Then I thought "Should I go vegetarian?"
"What is there to eat beside of all those stupid vegetables?"
Then, then I thought of it
Oh to-tofu

Tofu, it tastes like chicken
Tofu, it tastes like the meat
Tofu, it tastes like the beef
Ooooh, tofu's so good
(x2)

The next day I went to the store
And I went to the vegetarian aisle
I walked, walked around for hours
I walked, walked around forever
I had twenty dollars in pocket
And I didn't mind if I lost it
So I bought a box of chicken nuggets
(Fake!) Fake! Chicken nuggets

Tofu, it tastes like chicken
Tofu, it tastes like the meat
Tofu, it tastes like the beef
Ooooh, tofu's so good
(x2)
Track Name: Foof
There was a boy who foofed
He flew off and poofed
He made some sticky honey
And fed it to his bunny
He got caught in a bowl of slime
Where he met a crappy mime
Because the mime said “Take a walk”
But mimes can’t talk

Up in the sky
Eating chicken pie
Saying goodbye
To my friend, Ky
Can’t you see that I’m numb?
No you can’t because you’re dumb
And you’re a huge bum
Take a look at my thumb

He couldn’t feel his face
‘Cause he tripped on his shoelace
He saw a piece of fudge
But the fudge had a grudge
The fudge said “Go, bro, go”
But he said “No, no, no”
He tried to eat the food
But the fudge said “Don’t be rude”
Oh well

Up in the sky
Eating chicken pie
Saying goodbye
To my friend, Ky
Can’t you see that I’m numb?
No you can’t because you’re dumb
And you’re a huge bum
Take a look at my thumb

Standing on the roof
Wiggling a tooth
My mother told me to pick the best one
If you don’t foof, you can fudge yo buns

Up in the sky
Eating chicken pie
Saying goodbye
To my friend, Ky
Can’t you see that I’m numb?
No you can’t because you’re dumb
And you’re a huge bum
Take a look at my thumb

Foof, foof, foof, foof (x4)
Track Name: Cabbage.1
"Hi, my name's Sheldon and I would like to audition for the part of lead singer and guitarist of The Fudgers."
"Okay, show me what you got."
"Um, okay, this is an original song I wrote called Cabbage."

Cabbage is lame
Cabbage is lame
You know why?
'Cause cabbage is lame

Cole slaw is lame too
Just like cabbage
But it's even lamer
But still

Cabbage is lame
Cabbage is lame
You know why?

"Stop, stop, stop"
"Did I get the part?"
"Exit's that way"
"What? You didn't even let me do my guitar solo! Here, I'll play it."
"Uh, um, that's okay. Um, SECURITY!"
Track Name: Are You Playing Magic Piano?
Some people have… head lice
Some people just aren’t… very nice
Some people don’t give… good advice
Some people like stir fry… with noodles

I love stew and stew loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate tea and tea hates me
I just hate it, don’t you see?
I love blue and blue loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate fleas and fleas hate me
Talk about an odious idiosyncrasy

Sometimes I think I’m... not cool
Sometimes my dog… drools
Sometimes mosquitoes… are just cruel
Sometimes I wanna… get the heck out of school

I love stew and stew loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate tea and tea hates me
I just hate it, don’t you see?
I love blue and blue loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate fleas and fleas hate me
Talk about an odious idiosyncrasy

I love stew and stew loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate tea and tea hates me
I just hate it, don’t you see?
I love blue and blue loves you
Do do do do do do do do
But I hate fleas and fleas hate me
Talk about an odious idiosyncrasy
(x2)
Track Name: Aliens Are Real
There is life beyond our planet
There are creatures below the granite
I’ll bet some are named Janet
And they’re eating pomegranate
Oh oh oh oh
Maybe they’re all colored teal
Oh oh oh oh
Hunter, tell ‘em what’s the deal

Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real
Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real

Aliens, they’re real
Don’t you know how I feel?
Driving tricycles made of steel
Hunter, tell ‘em what’s the deal

Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real
Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real

And by now you should know
Aliens go with the flow
But man, I’ll tell you, they ain’t slow
They all have thirty seven toes
(x2)

Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real
Aliens are real
Aliens are real, aliens are real
Track Name: Yoe Tou
Yoe Tou
Track Name: Coffee Coffee
Coffee coffee
Coffee coffee coffee
(x4)

I want some coffee
I want it now
I want some coffee
Not a cow

Coffee coffee
Coffee coffee coffee
(x4)

Pour in the beans
Pour in some water
That's way too cold
MAKE IT HOTTER!

Coffee coffee
Coffee coffee coffee
(x4)

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee
Coffee, coffee, coffee, more coffee
Coffee, more coffee, coffee, more coffee
Coffee, more coffee, coffee, coffee

Coffee and yet more coffee
Track Name: A Tribute to My Dead Tape Measure
All things come
And all things go
But why'd you have to go?
Gone in
My trash can
Come back, my old friend

I remember kindergarten
When I'd play with you all day
But the glory days are over
And now I'm left
To mourn your tragic death

All things come
And all things go
I don't understand, you left me here
Alone

I'll shout from the rooftops
Shout from the rooftops for you

I won't forget (x15)

Come back (x17)

Do you remember preschool?
Do you remember me?
Do you-

All things come
And all things go
Don't go
Don't go
Don't go
Don't go
Track Name: Rocky
A little papa with a pa-pa-pa-papa (A little papa with a pa-pa-pa-papa)
A little Rocky with a r-r-r-Rocky (A little Rocky with a r-r-r-Rocky)
A little mama with a ma-ma-ma-mama (A little mama with a ma-ma-ma-mama)
And dynamite with a big big boom (And dynamite with a big big boom)

A little Sunny with a b-b-b-bunny (A little Sunny with a b-b-b-bunny)
A little Lady with a b-b-b-baby (A little Lady with a b-b-b-baby)
A little Sydney with a k-k-k-kitty (A little Sydney with a k-k-k-kitty)
A little hammy with a w-w-w-whammy (A little hammy with a w-w-w-whammy)

Da da da, da da da da da da (x8)

A little papa with a pa-pa-pa-papa (A little papa with a pa-pa-pa-papa)
A little Rocky with a r-r-r-Rocky (A little Rocky with a r-r-r-Rocky)
A little mama with a ma-ma-ma-mama (A little mama with a ma-ma-ma-mama)
And dynamite with a big big boom (And dynamite with a big big boom)

A little bear with a ch-ch-ch-chair (A little bear with a ch-ch-ch-chair)
A little hare with a s-s-s-snare (A little hare with a s-s-s-snare)
A little Jerry with a p-p-p-Perry (A little Jerry with a p-p-p-Perry)
A little Gary with a b-b-b-berry (A little Gary with a b-b-b-berry)

Da da da, da da da da da da (x16)
Track Name: Baby Pools
My shed is burgundy-red
Don’t you know that I want you home?
You’ve been out all day
All day you’ve been away from home
We could take a walk in the park
Or the cemetery
We could walk the dogs
Won’t you come home, Gary?

Oh, I know where you are
I’m not stupid
Oh, where the water’s unusually warm
It sounds like music

The water’s so yellow down there
I would jump right in but I’m scared
You saw some poop but you don’t care
I’ll save you a prayer

When I pulled in
Into the driveway
You were snorkeling
But the snorkel was sideways
You were in the 2-feet deep end
About to drown, and that’s not cool
I really saved your life
From the grip of death in the baby pool

Oh, I know where you are
I’m not stupid
Oh, where the water’s unusually warm
It sounds like music

The water’s so yellow down there
I would jump right in but I’m scared
You saw some poop but you don’t care
I’ll save you a prayer

Your eyes were red
You didn’t wear goggles
Jumped in the car and sped
I rushed you to the hospital, oh

The water’s so yellow down there
I would jump right in but I’m scared
You saw some poop but you don’t care
I’ll save you a prayer

You woke up
You woke up
You woke up
You woke up and said…

Dude, what the heck? I’ve been yelling at you for the past hour. I was underwater for like seven seconds, chill. Geez! Are you in your own little world or something? Weirdo.
Track Name: Braudra (You Don't Have To)
Brad eats pie
Audra eats fries
Then they eat the sky
But why?
'Cause Brad's too small for a guy
And Audra can fly
Then they explode and say "Goodbye"
But they didn't die
No they didn't, didn't, oh

Audra's cool
And Brad, you are too
Brad's older than one
And Audra, you don't have to fudge your buns
(x2)

Brad eats cheese
Audra eats bees
They made a sandwich with cheese and bees
They turn on the Wii
And make a bunch of Miis
When it's cold they freeze
Their collection of memes
Their collection, collection of memes

Audra's cool
And Brad, you are too
Brad's older than one
And Audra, you don't have to fudge your buns
(x2)

Audra looks like Cruella de Vil
Brad looks like a guy named Phil
And they go together like peas in a pod
Audra's pretty chill
Brad looks like a guy named Will
And they go together like dirt and sod
Audra breathes with gills
Brad looks like a guy named Bill
And they go together like peas in a pod
Audra doesn't work at a mill
Brad looks like a guy named Dil
Yeah, they go together like dirt and sod
Oh woah, woah (oooh)

Brad eats cake
Audra eats snakes
They made a cake
Out of snakes
They dance and shake
Until they have headaches
But they are still awake
Hangin' with some hillbilly named Jake
Hangin' with some hillbilly

Audra's cool
And Brad, you are too
Brad's older than one
And Audra, you don't have to fudge your buns
(x2)

No Audra, you don't have to
No Audra, you don't have to
No Audra, you don't have to...
Track Name: Dog Poo
Dog poo, dog poo
Don’t get it on your shoe
And if you do
Don’t wipe it off
Keep it as a reminder
What goes in must come out
Track Name: Trump the Grump
Trump the grump, you got me stumped
You’re a mump, in a sump
Like a camel hump, in a lump
You’re a bump on my rump (sir)
You’re a big clump in my dog’s dump
Go jump off a pump
Mr. Kump said you’re a chump
Don’t be a scrump, you gump

You’re way too insane
No, you’re not sane at all

If he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard on America
Yeah, if he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard

Second verse, always worse than the first
Ah-la la la la la la, la la la la la la
La… uh yeah
Tell him to take the bird off his head
It’s not the right shade, it’s not even red
No really, WHAT [BEEP] COLOR IS IT?

You’re way too insane
No, you’re not sane at all

If he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard on America
Yeah, if he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard

If he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard on America
Yeah, if he’s the president, I’m moving to Canada
And I’m buying a panda
While facepalming so so hard
(x2)
Track Name: Tofu (Reprise)
Tofu, it tastes like chicken
Tofu, it tastes like the meat
Tofu, it tastes like the beef
Oooh, tofu's so good
(x2)

Tofu's so good
Track Name: Block of Wood with a Staple In It
Foofin’ down the street
Starin’ at my feet
Had to grab somethin’ to eat
Grabbed a coffee with Pete
The neighbors say they feel my heat
I guess it’s ‘cause I’m so elite
I ate tofu, Pete ate the meat (He ate the meat, man)
I had fries and Pete had beets

Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood
Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it
You can try to take out my staples
You can try to take all my basil, but no
But no
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it

I asked Pete “Do you want some pie?”
He said no but it was a lie
I thought he was an honest guy
I noticed he loosened his tie
I stomped my foot and said "Goodbye!"
"But Pete, Pete, Pete, why?"
And Pete said "Just because I'm sly"
I almost broke down and cried, but then I said

Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood
Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it
You can try to take out my staples
You can try to take all my basil, but no
But no
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it

I left the coffee shop
I went to the bus stop
Talked to a dirty old mop
He said to run away and hop
Oh boy!

Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood
Oh no, I won’t
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it
You can try to take out my staples
You can try to take all my basil, but no
But no
I won’t be your block of wood with a staple in it
Track Name: Cabbage.2
"Hello, my name is Jeffery and I would like to try out for the part of lead singer and guitarist in The Fudgers."
"Alright, I'm ready to hear it."
"Alright, this is an original song I wrote, and it is called Cabbage."
"Wait a second."

Cabbage is lame (Are you kidding me?)
Cabbage is lame (Are you seriously kidding me?)
You know why? (Oh my gosh!)
'Cause cabbage is lame (Security!)
Track Name: Bob the Slob
Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

Now Bob was a waiter at Hot Dog Cafe
He served those beef franks all of the day
Ironically, he also had 300 dogs
You prob’ly think he did but he did not cook the dogs
He lived a happy life in his middle class house
He had a lot of friends, but he had no spouse
He sang his way to work, and he sang back home
But despite all of his friends, he still felt alone
Because

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

So Bob searched and he found a dating app
He met a girl his age and her name was Yap
They met up and went on a date
Only to find a miserable fate
Bob said “I can’t see through this fog”
Yap said “Bob, I hate dogs”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Wait, what did she just say? Did you hear her?"
"I think so, but I’m not sure. Play it again."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Yap said "Bob, I hate dogs"
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Oh my--"
"How can you not like dogs?!"
"They’re so fluffy and cute and snuggly and cute and fluffy."
"I can’t believe it."
"Just play the song before we start yelling."
"Fine."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Bob stopped the car and looked at her
He told her to get out with a furious grrr

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

Bob couldn’t sleep for one minute that night
He wondered why some people couldn’t see the light
Saying you hate dogs is very profane
And Bob didn’t want to go insane
So, in the morning he packed up and bought a ship
He took all of his dogs on a special trip
He learned about the ocean and all of its ways
He studied the currents and he studied the waves

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

He became a pirate and he found buried treasure
He even found himself a pirate wife named Heather
And Heather loved dogs, she had one of her own
They shared their ship, The Cursed Balloon
They had a pirate son they named Pirate James
They played Walk The Plank and other games
James played with the dogs on the boat
The family lived happily and stayed afloat
Because

Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob

Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob

There goes Bob the Pirate, the man
(The man! The man! The man!)
We don’t mess with him
Because we know he’ll wreck us up
There go Bob’s dogs and his fam
(His fam! His fam! His fam!)
We don’t mess with them
Because we know they’re really tough

Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob! (x4)
We heard he was once just a
Middle class man from Michigan
But now he’s the best darn pirate
In the seven seas

(Group of pirates laughing)
Track Name: Chicken Nugget
(Chicken nugget) Tastes so good
(Chicken nugget) Tastes like chicken in nugget form
(Chicken nugget) So, so good
(Chicken nugget) More valuable than a gold nugget

I want a chicken nugget (He wants a chicken nugget)
I want a chicken nugget (He really wants a chicken nugget)
I need a chicken nugget (Chicken nugget)
Chicken nugget

Chicken nugget
Track Name: Bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana

Yesterday, I had a bunana
It was so good, it was so yellow
Not too green, not too ripe
The taste made me feel so mellow
I didn’t want to OD on potassium
But it was so good, it was so yum
And now I’m singing the bunana blues
Have you ever tried bunana gum?

Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana

It sucks when you can’t peel the bunana
If you’re greedy, you might steal the bunana
I’d like a meal of bunanas
I might even kneel to the acorns
Why are the bunanas so cheap?
Meep, sweep, beep, leap, sleep, sheep
I just bought a bunana heap
Now, I’ll put it in my Jeep

Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana, bunana
Track Name: Samuldidoowobblebobble
Samuldidoowobblebobble
A shee boo see doo dee gobble gobble, aye
Samuldidoowobblebobble
Shee boo zee doo doo doddle doodle

Sey badoo dadoo dodee
Adabuda doowee
It's Sam'didoowobblebobble