Bob the Slob

from by The Fudgers

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lyrics

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

Now Bob was a waiter at Hot Dog Cafe
He served those beef franks all of the day
Ironically, he also had 300 dogs
You prob’ly think he did but he did not cook the dogs
He lived a happy life in his middle class house
He had a lot of friends, but he had no spouse
He sang his way to work, and he sang back home
But despite all of his friends, he still felt alone
Because

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

So Bob searched and he found a dating app
He met a girl his age and her name was Yap
They met up and went on a date
Only to find a miserable fate
Bob said “I can’t see through this fog”
Yap said “Bob, I hate dogs”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Wait, what did she just say? Did you hear her?"
"I think so, but I’m not sure. Play it again."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Yap said "Bob, I hate dogs"
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Oh my--"
"How can you not like dogs?!"
"They’re so fluffy and cute and snuggly and cute and fluffy."
"I can’t believe it."
"Just play the song before we start yelling."
"Fine."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Bob stopped the car and looked at her
He told her to get out with a furious grrr

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

Bob couldn’t sleep for one minute that night
He wondered why some people couldn’t see the light
Saying you hate dogs is very profane
And Bob didn’t want to go insane
So, in the morning he packed up and bought a ship
He took all of his dogs on a special trip
He learned about the ocean and all of its ways
He studied the currents and he studied the waves

Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob, he had 300 dogs
Bob, Bob was a slob

He became a pirate and he found buried treasure
He even found himself a pirate wife named Heather
And Heather loved dogs, she had one of her own
They shared their ship, The Cursed Balloon
They had a pirate son they named Pirate James
They played Walk The Plank and other games
James played with the dogs on the boat
The family lived happily and stayed afloat
Because

Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob

Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob, he had 301 dogs
Bob wasn’t a slob

There goes Bob the Pirate, the man
(The man! The man! The man!)
We don’t mess with him
Because we know he’ll wreck us up
There go Bob’s dogs and his fam
(His fam! His fam! His fam!)
We don’t mess with them
Because we know they’re really tough

Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob! (x4)
We heard he was once just a
Middle class man from Michigan
But now he’s the best darn pirate
In the seven seas

(Group of pirates laughing)

credits

from Sparkling Fudge, released July 1, 2016
Written by Connor and Hunter Lindsley

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